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GUEST POST: Seeking professional help

I’m back. I have returned with the sequel to my saga. Read below — positivity ensues.

I lied.

I said I would wait until Sunday before soliciting professional help, but I caved. I caved a solid 4 days prior to my deadline.  I am now part of the 4% of the American population who can now admit to having invited a dog whisperer into their home.

Last night at 6:00 p.m. on the dot the canine Mary Poppins came floating through our doors with bags aplenty. She brought dog mats, toys, leashes, sprays, treats & chewies.  Not to mention recipe books, handouts and instructions for the modern day doggie mom and dad. Oh what’s that Mrs. Poppins? We spent $200 at Petco on Monday and we have treats that our dogs will most certainly choke on? Awesome.  Annnnnd there’s an 85% chance their dog collars will hang them while we’re away at work all day?? Basically, our dogs have been living in a 1200 square feet torture chamber and Doctor Man and I were none the wiser. But enough about how WE were setting our dogs up for failure – why do they hate each other? Stop bashing us lady and fix them!

And fix them she did. The dog whisperer has tricks up her sleeve like no other and 45 minutes into our private in-home lesson our dogs were sitting like angels on their separate mats awaiting next instructions. Sure, we had a treat or two-hundred for bribery’s sake but even so the dogs were locked in on our every word. We now have a manipulation scheme to nip (no pun intended) any dog issue in the bud! Eh, almost..but I’m choosing to remain optimistic. Grover still really has a desire and need to play with some dogs his size to roll around and wear his youthful toosh out. So we need to become regulars at the local dog park from here on out. In a week he should be “leash ready” and he and I can embark on fulfilling my dream of having a running buddy!

I am now equipped with some super stealth-like canola spray that will stop any dog altercation that seems to be escalating in an aggressive way (here’s to hoping I don’t have to use that anytime soon). Things are by no means resolved but the dog whisperer gave us the remedy for success…and a shopping list a mile long of items that won’t kill our dogs. Next steps? Practice makes perfect. For the next five days I will be rocking a dog-treat fanny pack ready to shell out goodies for all positive behaviors. No more freebies at the Mitchell-Turnage abode. These dogs must work for food! Hopefully Mary Poppins will be proud of our progress – she returns for lesson two on Wednesday!!

Laugh and judge if you want folks – this dog whisperer biz is legit :)

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